do you ever

i do

ok, so here comes the jealousy. all tingly and sticky. in the stomach, up the spine, behind the jaw.

it's me.
it's not the fact that you wanted to put 'everything you had' into it, and you couldn't at that point in time.
it's me.
not skinny enough. don't show enough leg. don't have nice flowy hair. too many stretch marks. stretch marks full stop. short nails. double chin. calloused feet. breasts too big. breasts not perky enough. chubby arms. don't always smell nice. not enough wit. not good enough in general.

it's like, once you got to know me, i wasn't as interesting or beautiful as you thought i was.

shame, hey?


ok, jealousy has passed.
i've moved on. fare thee well.


(feel like you've broken someone's heart)