precipitous

the sky grew lighter as the night came,
golden pastel threads and smudges
rich purple-red scattering
to grey. the royal turquoise ran deep layers

below or above, depending on your point of view.
and it reflected off windows that smothered the clifftops
blinding but balancing

the panoramic splendour made me wistful.

and something clicks in my mind
that is enough
it was enough a long while back
a small phoenix is hooking its claws into
something solid
its featherless body shudders in the breeze
but it seems more content with feeling the cold
than not feeling at all.
its blackblack eyes look up at me.
i am dizzy, being drawn into them unwittingly
like when you stumble towards the ocean, the rhythm of the waves dragging you in
and you can't tear your eyes away
and it feels as if you have almost no control over your body for a couple of seconds - then the next wave crashes, and the spell breaks - like that.
they are utterly neutral; as identity-free as the sea
yet something in them calls to me

or i call to them, depending on your point of view.
reflected in pupils that mothered the wind-smoothed rocks
grounding but terrifying.

in this precipitous state i know i would have trouble falling.
yet i am clinging to the sharpest of rocks
as fear washes over me in waves
it belongs to me as much as these calloused hands
and i cannot judge the danger any better than you -
we are as blinded but balanced as each other.

and some days the sky looks so much like the sea
and some days you look so much like me