and i know that if i could see you
then you'd be walking like this too
i am irrationallyirritable. i haven't had a cigarette today, for the first time in quite a while. maybe this is my withdrawal.
i am so frustrated with my father. i need money to pay back lucy and bianca and tim, and it still hasn't been transferred through. i am still $49 in debt to my bank and because i have to learn to 'budget' my dad is being stingy. if i knew i wouldn't be getting money, i wouldn't be borrowing money or spending anything much apart from on essentials. but i promise people that i will pay them back by a certain date and the money does not come through by then. so people stop trusting me. thanks dad. i would rather be forced to get a job and know when my money is coming through.
so fuck it. tomorrow when i go out to get ingredients for worldpeacecookies i am dropping my resume in as many places as i can.
there's an ever-present static. the atmosphere unravelling til you recieve my love.
who is this mysterious 'you', diane? and, for that matter, justine?
i give it up.
i'm gonna stop looking/aching. i am going to stop bothering with everything around me and start properly fixing myself up. mind body heart spirit. time for a bit of a detox, a bit of a re-shaping. not to mention a re-tuning of my little receptor thingys.
all the voices around me are irritating me no end. i need to get out one day soon. i have my music but then there is an undercurrent of pure frustration. i need to get rid of it.
so either i'm going to blossom into something amazing and free and in tune, or i'm going to go on a huge massacre.
but it is no big deal, hey what else is there to do
than set your sights on something and just pull your tangles through
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