freedoms of delusion (&beginbroken)

so
much
baggage.

physical, emotional, mental, spiritual


the fourth song:


every stone dragging, heavier and heavier
my eyes are drooping.
my heart is sagging
my mouth is aching with the weighty words i'm carrying.

they are unspoken.
but my heart is taking its time
to begin breaking
to begin broken
and ready to be fixed again.

not by some lover
or an old and oldest friend
my heart is ageing
while i watch, impatient

it's getting to be too much
to take it all on board
to remember each and every syllable
of each and every silent word

and with each an every day
i gather more and more
and i bury myself
and i hide and i hoard
records and books and new knitted jumpers
with each new day i hide a new wonder
but i pull off the scabs
it itches, it's infected
i have never allowed myself a chance to be reflected

in some quiet river flowing through a city full of life and dreams
instead i'm packed into a box that is bursting at the seams
with things i don't need

oh i am so afraid
i am scared to death
of opening my wings
and stretching out my claws
of releasing this held breath
these lines have become so stale and settled in my mouth

i close my eyes
i must let them float
from me
from me
from me
from me
from me