so over it that gravity can't even hold me back

worn outttttt

i am done. with. this cycle.
glad to be. maybe i will get some sort of normality back, some sort of knowing myself, some sort of real comfort, not a shitty shiny sketchy attempt at it. you win! ok? you are worse off. you are more tired! you are more stressed out! i don't mind losing, because it means i am not you. i love you, but now i do not want to be you.
well, that's pretty heavy shit justine. quite the turning point, a fork in the road one might say.
(you are less than one, more than every one)
this road has seen enough forks for the time being. i'm just going to let my nose guide me from hereon in, eyes closed,
heart open
just enough to forget that there is more than one road.

for the time being at least.
and youwereright i appreciate the time i have free
now, just give me my timebeing and be done with it

before i turn to steel and copper wiring imitating the human biological system!

quickly, now

efficient listless pushupull

and above every cheekbone raised higher than most i see those dead black eyes. every time i sit here swimming in excess and familiar fondness my gut aches with nervous hunger, my eyes start to droop but i do not know where to lay down. i do not know when to lay down. 

these past 2 days i have consumed cynicism and genius that at least a lifetime ago freshly inked the musty pages i now hold. he speaks of a country that is failing, that has been established in hatred and disease and merciless power thirst. he was glad to have seen what he'd seen, because it showed him exactly what he didn't want. i empathize now - daily the air grows progressively more toxic from daybreak to sunset. by the time i'm ready to sleep my lungs are thickening in a vain attempt to evolve. 

surely by now we have either moved in one direction or another? progress or digress, surely? it has been a good 6 decades. surely these violent revolutions and bloody wars have made some sort of forward step, some impact that isn't just the freedom to other than the freedom to use newer, shinier, more efficient gadgets that in no way promote the growth of the human animal?

the cyborg will prevail. cultural upheaval is commonplace in the post-modernist void, whether or not one questions what one is fighting for.