i know nothing and i feel empty and this keyboard is alien to me
i look around me and feel nothing i see my life leafed into pages and i feel nothing
i hear the wavering giggle and i feel nothing i feel cloudy
something i know something but how something surely not i wait and i wait
but i act now yes i do i have actions and deliver things, to myself, to you
to the world and i am proving it slowly to myself, to the world, to myself
jaw aches familiar life cycles deteriorate ebbing with each season and i cannot take advantage of it enough i cannot make up for lost time
i feel empty again ok will feel empty once this choked up acid reflux of a word gets spoken
thank fuck
not quite ready to be filled again
i miss you man i fucking miss you you retard why aren't you near me? i feel your soul within my soul and without and i want to know why it gets so fucking hard sometimes and i know you can't tell me but at least you can just smile and say it's fucked but here we are
maybe it is getting so close to that time of year maybe it is almost 7 years now no fucking way it makes no sense you are still here you are still
my past comes rushing up on me tsunami-style, giving not one fuck, not for me or any other ant, crushing all in its wake and releasing salty creatures to flop about uselessly in my psyche
leaving nothing but bits in its wake
bits and starfish to dry up as the sun burns burns burns
deliver deliver deliver
feel better feel better feel better
breathe deep and slow down
just draw it up and expel it and compose
this don't bother trying to make sense of it
release
salty creatures back into the sea
