p.s.

pressure release. you will deal. (un)do it yourself.

that's the reason

why is it that when i genuinely think i am ok, i still get tears welling after my friend puts his hand on my head and then walks away? or when my lover chooses to go somewhere else tonight, even if it is good for them? as i am comfortable and surrounded by familiarity and brisk hills air, i am so full of sorrow. his lyrics catch me every time, when i cannot pull them out from behind my own jaws he finds them hidden behind his medulla oblongata and screams that shit out.

and maybe revel; ations

i wipe my nose and hold my breath for a moment

tape unravels, and wire bends

i know it (, carry on?)

it's as you go to leave, as you actually leave

as i hang up the phone or as you exceed me -

you may see otherwise but these eyes are mine.

i like it when there's air, it mixes well with my tears

when things end

i have such minimal control and the anxiety wells up parallel

i hate it when i have to hide

beneath your cerebellum behind your holy teeth

it might just be hell to me