o.k.

and known again. before the cogs in the wall ticked over or the millions of bubbling explanations arose, it was already known. and the knowledge pushed it there, what irony O what a cruel twist of fate ye might say. but you don't. because it's just what happens. and so we do





he's sleeping in my bed. my bed smells like him. i am in the loungeroom, it is so cold in here. support networks are dwindling and disappearing, and that is what happens - and so we do. work to be done. no time to waste. fall over, be demon prey, fight or run like hell or just stand there prostrate waiting for it to alllllll come a-crashing down. do what you will. do.

wunts ah ghenn

and you know. what do you know? knowing what needs to be done, having known for so long now and still having pushed myself back, fear, darkness. it takes hold and it is even stronger now. this is what happens. pay attention, you already have. you can, you will, you have no other choice. resolve is being smelted down and re-molded, it must not have weaknesses this time. it can't.
physical. breathe, smell, see, get unstuck. it is not happiness. it is happiness' just-shed skin. she left a while back and you know it. you deserve better. we all do. you are on fire and under the ground and drowning and your head is so far off into the clouds that they are starting to look solid even as you push your skull through the rain.

practicality. get it done. you will find a way, you will just do. you must. these words cannot be unmade. nor can the last, or the ones before that. thoughts can be ignored, but they cannot be unmade either. not me it's you, not you it's me, not not it's not. neither. this is just how the cookie crumbles, so let's deal with it and be strong and know what is best for us and just let this go.