what now, then?

things are not as stable as one might originally assume.
it's more of a push in the right direction, though, when shit starts to fall apart. not always violent, often obvious (as long as your eyes are watching) and always in line with that which is best for you. so what do you do? ignore it? that just gets you into more trouble. nod your head and follow the scent, possibly risking one of the best things that has ever entered your life? what then?
i've moved to melbourne, out of my hometown, and successfully (though struggling most of the time) lived here for close to a full year. the city is starting to wear me down and i can see the decline as clear as day; lack of energy, despondency, self-confidence in the nascent stages of dissolution. not what is best for me.

fuck.
in a matter of days it's all changed again and shifted into the next phase. i wish i had been better prepared.

but these things have a tendency to move without warning for those who are looking the other way.
i forget to watch the sky most of the time. this is where i fall short of my potential.

but the idea of losing that which i have worked so hard for... that is an intimidating and confusing thought. i whole-heartedly (and more) hope that particular sacrifice will not have to be made.

hmm.